All Else Can Wait

so sad to see you 

so drained

never taking 

what you need

until that need 

spills over 

into tears

giving should not

preclude living

gotta gotta gotta

lotta nonsense

if you’re fading

i don’t want to 

be a burden

or a barrier

to your serenity

sleep, sleep, sleep

let the enchantment

overtake you. 

all else can wait

Everything Was A Hassle

I should have known...
Nothing ever ran smoothly
Everything was a hassle
I always lost

Finally the final date
In court. The chance
To settle. To move on
set months ago.
Set in motion years ago

Cancelled by her
For no good reason
There never was
a good reason
Everything was a hassle
I always lost

I am not going to lose
Anymore.

Hurting Patterns

She hurts...

The reflux
From an angry
Pointer

Blindly
Spewing bile
In rage

Guaranteed to
Force the Winter
Keep her lost
Inside her cage

No winners here
Patterns that
Never worked
Still not working

Safety first
...or what?
Shut the door
Home safe

Abide

I love you now
and that will endure
when the real
bleakness comes

Smile

The moment
Of her smile
Could light
A million rooms
Her mommy face
Her music face


It hurts so much
To see it fade
Into the worries
Of yesterdays
And tomorrows

Times beyond
Our control
Snuffed by
Her smile

Morning Coffee

I picture my love
In the quiet solitude
Of couch and coffee
Serene

No rush rush rush
No need
to get dressed yet
No words to break
The peace

I love mornings
Like this too.
Alone, even
Without you
Re charge

Funny thing is
It is just as
Peaceful
When we're
Together

Love Without Borders

Push and pull
My docket's full
Everybody wants
A piece of me

Tick and tock
Twenty four
on a clock
Never seems
To be enough

Giving and living
hearts of gold
Oceans away
From serenity

What do I want?
No one really asks

Inner peace and
Enough for all.

Content with
What we have
and
Who we are

Content with
what we get
Without regret

Thirst
Things
First

Thrive
Alive

Love
Without
Borders

Square Peg, Round Hole

square peg
round hole
Break a leg
Asshole

Brute force
Fail
Shoot force
Fail

Push the button
Squirm, baby squirms
End up with nothing
eaten by worms

You try to hurt
before you're got
on red alert
You splatter fault

Tonight's Sounds

Tonight's sounds
The ping of rain
On zigs and zags
Of fire escape and
Easter Island air ducts

The slapping
Of wet leaves
Becoming
Applause as
The wind picks up

The hiss of tires
On slick streets
Occasional diesel trucks
Seemingly lost in the
Sleepy city that is starting
To hum to life


The early morning flight ban
Is over as the jets begin
To roar like the ocean
A mile from the shore

The odd gust makes a swish
And two hunks of metal
Shiver shrug to the
Ostinato of countable drips

Countable drips but legato
The reversing truck a tempo
Working before the dawn
Makes us deaf
The sounds of night
Usurped by sight

My Faithful Dog

My faithful dog
Got too old
to stand
Alone

My faithful dog
Took all my
Secrets
With her

My faithful dog
Had fewer moments
To live in
as time
Eroded
her muscles
And she spent
Her moments
Fighting pain

My faithful dog
Was fifteen

Through the pain
She was
Always happy
To see me

No wags
To greet me
This morning

Overwhelming

Stilettos

Stilettos on
Asphalt
3A.M.

Somebody's
Daughter
Staggering
Alone in
The sleepy
Street

Looking
For home

Looking
For him

Looking for
Something

In a halting

Adjust the strap

Rubbing sore
Sort of way

The steady
Drone of
Cricket sentries
The only other
Sounds

No voices
No car doors
No motors
No muffled beat
of car door
music

This may not
Be her street

I hope she
finds her way

Everybody's
Daughter
Should
Get home
Safe.

She's Sad And Blue

She's Sad and blue
What to do?
She's Up unrested
And off
To the races

A knot
In my tum
And Heart
She said

It's not
Just a turn
Of her heart
Or head

Maybe it's
something
We did
Or said

I'm sad and blue
What to do?
My rest arrested
need More
embraces

Til then...
...Again
Words
Have
To do

Out, Damned Spot

Out, damned spot
You're all I see
My guilt, my shame
My hurt, my blame
Out, damned spot

No nod for me
Not even a blink
Nomasté for me
My think, she stink!

Healer heal the healer
Listen to the birds
Feeler feel the feeler
Don't listen to the words

Out damned spot
Spotlights out
Hold me

Blockhead

So I have a block
What's a block?
Don't i listen?
Don't I talk?
Don't I love you
Through the
Cloudy parts?

"You tell me" you said
But I haven't got a clue
The cryptic puzzle
Is easier to do.

What kind of a block?
A rusty, grey, ungeometric
Late blooming atonal
Chock-a-block?

If I find this block
And find out
What it's blocking
It better watch out
Because nothing
Is going to block
The way of truth
And beauty.

The Big "C"

Some people have all the luck
A pain in there
To palliative care
In the blink of an eye

Some of My friends
Are setting sail
Losing weight
Getting frail

Other friends are
making bail
Chemo worked
Collective hail

Each of them
getting out of jail
All too soon
Or all too well

Death and breath
Two sides
Of the same coin

Every day
above ground
A blessing and
A curse

Could be better...

Could be worse...

Full Moon, Fat Raccoon

Full moon
Fat Raccoon
Garbage can
Scrape boom

Night noises
In the lane
Moaning cats
Fighting again

Neighbors shouting
Needs not met
Toxic words
They'll want
To forget

Waiting for
The birds
Of dawn
To drown
This darkness
With their song

Waiting for
The edge of night
To surrender
To the light

Fatigue

So distant
Removed
Fading as we spoke
Up in a puff of smoke

Weary eyes
Once danced
And sought my gaze
Vanished
In the haze
Of fatigue
beyond fatigue
And miles to go
Before we sleep

Miles Apart

Lying some miles apart
No skin on skin tonight
Eyes open in the dark
Seeking your shape

No stroke of hair
Nothing smooth
No scents to
Lull a boy

Imagining you
Missing my fingers
My hair and my beard
Touring your temple
Inch by inch
Ebb and flow

Connected
Protected
Contented

La Rentrée

Getting back on the horse
Requires me
To look at today
To look out today
To balance the
Parcels of life
They call time

I am up before
The dawn
To salute this day
And all others
As precious

I am who I am
Where I am now
And it is perfect
In it's imperfection

I am ready

Sunrise In Rhode Island

Aug 18,2014

It's the same Sun

That rose on my hope
And happiness today
That rose on the
Homeless and the
Hopeless

That rose on my ancestors
Literal and not
That rose on people
Kind and evil
Aware and un

Not my first sunrise
But the first where
My eyes were among
The first to see her.

It's the same sun
The one constant
On this island
In a sea of change

It's the same Sun
Not yours or mine
Ours and theirs
We are her heirs

August Moon

Who's there?
My bed is bathed
in silver velvet
This August moon at 3 a.m.
So big and full and juicy
Drawing me like the tide
Inevitable force that
Awes and keeps me
Dozing not sleeping
Afraid to miss a minute
Of it's splendour

It's grace immersing
My soul. Tonight
I am love.

Do unto her

When i stroke her
In the dazed glow
before the nod
I want her to feel
She is the most
Loved woman
There ever was

While I play her
Like a lyre
And breathe
Her scents,
her hair
Her skin
I feel at one
With the music
Of the spheres.

It is time

It is time

Dog food bags
Have been
getting smaller

I don't think
This one is going
To get eaten
Fully

Five A.M. And
She's crying

She who never
Complains.

She who sleeps
through the night

She wants to get up
But she can't.
I am her lift

She can't
Comprehend

Neither of us
Will ever
understand

O Stardust

Stardust

Coming back home
She always heads for
The lower door,
The one she's
Never been through
As if, today by magic
It was our door.
Her way of trying
to avoid the stairs
Which, to a
fifteen year old
Border Collie (not really)
Are daunting.

Some days
she is able
To climb
each stair
In sequence.
Not her puppy
scramble rhythm,
but plodding...
Her gait ...in
shuffling triplets
Ka chung ka chung ka chung

Those days I reward her
With a pat on the head
And all my relief
Knowing we cheated
Time

Some days
she stalls a bit
And needs
a physical prompt
To remind her where
Her haunches are.
We make it to the top
And when we get to the top
she looks at me
As if to say "thanks"
But really
wondering
"Why?"

Some days
She collapses
And I try
To keep her from
Tumbling backward

Today was like that.

I picked her up
And carried her
To the top
Of the stairs
And as I put her
Down gently,
We looked
at each other
In symbiotic
wonderment
And she licked
My tears

Child's Play

I want an Iron Dome
System
To keep me safe
From assholes.
Unwanted opinions
Loud noises
Bad music

You have the right
To be an asshole
Have an opinion
Make noise
Listen to bad music

My Iron Dome
System will
Protect me

I don't have to
Retaliate

You in your
small corner
And I in mine

Child's play
Israel

Buck Moon

July 12 2014.

Buck moon 

Thunder moon

Silver dollar

Super moon

Light my night

In silver white

Serene sentinel

Over Canada

I wish i was at 

The lake

Any lake

Double or nothing

Look up people

Look up

The world is 

Not so small 

Or large

 tonight

Serenity

Magnified

Problems

Nil

Gratuitous Contempt

Gratuitous contempt
Is what it became
Well before the
Dousing of the flame

The man i had become
Bent beyond recognition
Unable to comprehend
Or withstand her hatred

I, who was blessed
With an enormous
Capacity for love
Trapped in a vortex
Of need and greed
The appetite enormous,
Ravenous
Never sated
Cursed like that Count

An emotional vampire
Depleting the well
Devouring the hand that feeds
Leaving Sere the land that feeds

Reclaiming the desert
Rebuilding the garden
Refilling the well
Getting well
Leaving the serpent
To devour it's tale.

The One

The One

I met her on the net
A cheesy start and yet
She didn't go out much
And neither did I
But something about her
Caught my eye

She thinks it was the Telecaster
But it was her hair
I'd look each morning
For her posts
Like waiting for the dolphin
To come and play

One day she was gone
something was wrong
She'd disappeared
Forever I feared
How do you trace
A dolphin?

Heartstruck, I searched
Until I found her
and I knew
Even before she
turned around
I knew,
my senses keen
My nose, my lens, my filter
Her hug familiar,
soft and snug
I knew

I stepped out
And in
in the moment
It was the place to be
The thing to do
She is the one
I knew, i know
She knew, she knows
Each new moment
We share
The glory of finding
The one

Tick Tock Echoes

In the tick tock echoes
Of my sullen mind
I see what's ahead
And those left behind

Frozen images without sound
Buried, sleeping, underground

Why this passage?
Why this night?
Why this whispering?
Half moon light

Alone with tapped out
Airless pause
My faceless mirror
The hapless cause

My yoga mind
My mindful breathing
Ease the pain of
Shadows leaving

Empty but for
My soft hum
Relaxed, relieved
That rest has come
(July 2014)

My Physio

You put an oh so human face,
Tender words and grace
Between the system of power
And the powerless

Shared hopelessness
Better than false hope
Empathy better
than sympathy
Everybody matters.

solstice

Again my sleep is robbed
and gathering in my head
a senseless angry mob
Demanding to be heard
Demanding to be heard

I hear a throb the dissonance
Of patterns unresolved
And scattered puzzles that remain unsolved

A vista of roofless rooms
And endless walls
Of prison yards
And cattle stalls

This shroud of solstice
Darkest night  Lie the tricks of
shadowy muted sight

I wrest control by even breathing
All those fugitives are leaving
The scenery of peace unfolding
Eyelids finally closing tight
they're finally closing tight
on the darkest night


December 23d 2013. adaptation by Nilia Berkin